OUR SELECTION CRITERIA

Our chosen few could either get their distinctive abilities from their clothes, their accessories, their training or their inherent awesomeness, not through radiation poisoning or government experiments or genetic mutation or being an alien or whatever. True, some of them have since developed a few powers of their own, but they all started out as normal folk -- though often normal folk in masks and/or latex.

And if you’re wondering where all the chicks are… you’ll find them in the forthcoming (someday) Top 13… Genre Heroines Who Kick Ass, Comic Division. (See the Literary Division here.)

For ease of cataloguing -- and because we couldn’t agree on an appropriate order -- these heroes are listed alphabetically.

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1. BATMAN

Created by: Bob Kane and Bill Finger
Year: 1939
Seen in: First seen in Detective Comics #27, followed soon thereafter with his own line of comics. Other media, such as radio and novels, would soon feature the Bat, but the Batman is best known (besides the comics, of course) for his appearances on TV -- from the campy 60's show, starring Adam West, that defined the character for a generation to the 90's cartoon that did the same for the next generation -- and in a run of would-be blockbuster films. The 1989 Tim Burton movie and its sequel, starring Michael Keaton, effectively reintroduced Batman to the populace; the horrendously terrible Joel Schumacher movies of the 90’s, starring alternately Val Kilmer and George Clooney, effectively scarred the populace for life; and the Christopher Nolan movies of the 00’s, starring Christian Bale, effectively showed how a grittier take of a classic superhero could work, culminating in the highest grossing comic book movie of all time, 2009’s The Dark Knight. Batman can also be seen in a multitude of made-for-DVD animated movies of varying styles (but generally all high quality), and it would be remiss not to mention quite possibly the best superhero video game ever in Batman: Arkham Asylum. Bottom line, for a character who likes to keep to the darkness, Batman sure is seen a lot of places!
Motto: "I'm Batman!" (as if people would need further explanation, since he’s a guy jumping out of the shadows dressed as a giant bat.)
Theme Song: Depends on your generation, but you have the "Na na na na na na na na Batman!" theme song from the 60's show, or the instantly recognizable Danny Elfman music originally from the Tim Burton movies, the former also used in the 90's animated series. Most superhero movies could take a lesson from that music. (There’s also Prince’s concept album surrounding Burton’s 1989 Batman, featuring the Number One single “Batdance”: “Stop the press, who is that? Vicky Vale… Vicky Vale.”
Secret Identity: Bruce Wayne, sometimes aloof playboy, sometimes shrewd businessman, always über-rich.
Nickname(s): Caped Crusader, Dark Knight, Bats, Gotham Guardian, Gotham Gladiator, Masked Manhunter, World's Greatest Detective.
Affiliation(s): Founding member of the Justice League, and found in most all variations and incarnations thereof, despite occasionally pretending to only be a part-time member/consultant because he “doesn’t work with others.” Also a founding member of the Outsiders, a group who viewed themselves as… well… outside the leadership of the Justice League.
Sidekick(s): Perhaps the most iconic sidekick ever, Robin (with all of the various portrayers thereof), but also Batgirl (and later, Oracle) and a variety of other bat-named characters.
Romantic Entanglements: Often having a new girl on his arm every time out -- partially to keep up appearances as a billionaire playboy -- most romances are for Bruce Wayne (such as his Nolan movie angst with lawyer Rachel, in both Katie Holmes and Maggie Gyllenhall form). Wayne’s masked alter-ego is known for getting entangled with various adversaries, most notably Catwoman (with whom he had a daughter) and Talia al Ghul (daughter of nemesis Ra’s al Ghul, and with whom he had a son).
Arch-Nemesis: Many of the Batman universe villains are some of the most well known in all of comic-dom, with the Riddler, Two-face, the Penguin, the aforementioned Catwoman and Ra’s al Ghul amongst a plethora of others. On, however, stands out above them all as possibly the greatest comic villain ever: The Joker.
Powers and/or Proficiencies: Besides his world-class intellect, detective skills and impressive array of ninja moves, there is also his seemingly never-ending set of bat-gadgets, most of which somehow fit on his belt, brazenly defying the laws of physics. (This reached its zenith with the epitome of all plot-centric bat-gadgets, the “Bat Shark Repellent” from the 1966 Batman: The Movie -- released in theaters! -- made from the Adam West TV series).
Source: It sure must be nice to be a billionaire and thus be able to afford all sorts of bat-related gear and keep it all quiet when out shopping for new toys.
Weapon(s): Bat [insert weapon name here].
Origin Story: A silent witness to the murder of his parents at eight years of age, Bruce Wayne was set upon the path to vigilantism when only a boy. (Dad was already über-wealthy, so that helped considerably.) Wayne Jr. soon vowed to clean up the streets of Gotham City, in his own inimitable Bat-ish style, and thus a legend was born.
Why He’s Super: Does this even need to be discussed? Of all superheroes without superpowers, Batman is the best-known and most iconic. He would, without doubt, be the poster child for using his wits, his powers of deduction, psychology, and an impressive array of gadgets to more than make up for any lack of “superpowers”, but instead of posters, he prefers a giant bat-themed spotlight.

-- K. Burtt

Further Reading

GEEK VS GEEK: DC Movies VS Marvel Movies, this issue

2. DANGER MOUSE

Created by: Brian Cosgrove and Mark Hall (Cosgrove Hall Films)
Year: 1981
Seen in: The white-suited mouse with the rakish eye patch had his own animated series, which was produced for Thames Television and lasted ten seasons (1981 to 1992), racking up an impressive 89 episodes, in which he was voiced by British acting legend David Jason. The show was exported to over 30 countries, including to the USA, where it was the first British cartoon to break into the American market, and the entire series has since been released on DVD. Danger Mouse also appeared in comic strips illustrated by Angus Allan -- notably in the UK’s Look In Magazine in the UK -- as well as in numerous Annuals and a couple of books, including The Danger Mouse Files and Danger Mouse in Double Trouble. He is also the star of a current revival stage play, Danger Mouse Saves the World, which kicked off its three month touring season on August 13 in the British seaside resort of Torquay. (Danger Mouse is, of course, also the stage name taken by Gnarls Barkley and Broken Bells mastermind Brian Burton.)
Motto: The Greatest Secret Agent in the World! (And, of course, there are his catchphrases “Good grief!” and “Crumbs, Penrose!”)
Theme Song: “He's the greatest, he's fantastic!/Wherever there is danger he'll be there/ He’s the ace, he’s amazing!/He’s the strongest, he’s the quickest, he’s the best!/Danger Mouse… Danger Mouse… DANGER MOUSE!” See it here.
Secret Identity: Danger Mouse’s real identity was never revealed, the name Danger Mouse acting as both his identity and as his secret codename -- which was actually the codename of his real codename.
Nickname(s): DM, Wretched Rodent.
Affiliation(s): Danger Mouse was based out of a red pillar post-box located on Baker Street in London, England, where he worked for a branch of British Intelligence and usually he received missions via his curiously prescient flat screen wall-mounted television from a chinchilla named Colonel K.
Sidekick(s): Ernest Penrose (codename The Jigsaw, “because when he’s faced with a problem, he goes to pieces”), the slightly bumbling hamster who invariably got into trouble but occasionally saved the day.
Romantic Entanglements: Slash fans always point out that Danger Mouse and Penrose did seem to live with each other. However, our hero was always very reticent about Fifi, a French ex-girlfriend who is oft-remembered by Penrose.
Arch-Nemesis: His main arch-enemy was Baron Silas Greenback (a toad) who was often seen fondling a white fluffy caterpillar called Nero (and, yes, looked at objectively, that does sound really bad, doesn’t it?). Greenback’s main henchman was Stiletto Mafiosa (a crow). All of their plans for world domination were foiled by Danger Mouse. But there was also Doctor Augustus P Crumhorn III, and the vegetarian vampire Count Duckula, who ended up with his own spin-off.
Powers and/or Proficiencies: Danger Mouse spoke many different languages including alien, and was an expert in the martial art of Kung Moggie.
Source: Training, and a native belief in his own superiority.
Weapon(s): If Bond ever had or wanted one, DM probably did, too.
Origin Story: Danger Mouse’s origin story is shrouded in mystery and nobody really knows how he became Danger Mouse or indeed who he really is. (However, thestage play purports to -- at long last -- reveal all.)
Why He’s Super: He’s a mouse! Plus, he’s a combination of James Bond-style super-agent with a Batman-style super-hero hideout and identity. And let’s not forget that he doesn’t have any latent super-powers whatsoever (unless we count his expertise in Kung Moggie)… but, also, he’s a mouse!! He saves the world with only his brain, his gadgets and Penrose. And let us not forget that he’s a mouse!!!

-- Rachel Day

3. THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO

Created by: Stephen J. Cannell
Year: 1981
Seen in: The cult classic ABC series The Greatest American Hero (3 seasons consisting of 44 episodes, 1981 - 1983). 2009 saw the publication of three Greatest American Hero comic books, co-written by original series star William Katt. They were largely ignored.
Motto: From “The Greatest American Hero” (01.01): “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… Ralph Hinkley.” (For the somewhat hilarious 1981 legal dispute due to this purloined phrase, see here.
Theme Song: How could we forget it? “Believe it or not, I’m walking on air/I never thought I could feel so free-hee-hee/Flying away on a wing and a prayer/Who could it be?/Believe it or not, it’s just me!” (a Top 40 hit for Joey Scarbury in 1981).
Secret Identity: Mild-mannered remedial teacher Ralph Hinkley/Hanley (changed temporarily after John Hinckley tried to assassinate U.S. president Ronald Reagan only twelve days after the pilot aired).
Nickname(s): Mr. H.
Affiliation(s): Stanford University; Whitney High School, Los Angeles; the FBI, through his new best-friend, Special Agent Bill Maxwell (Robert Culp).
Sidekick(s): The aforementioned Bill Maxwell, and his divorce attorney-turned-eventual-wife, Pam Davidson (Connie Selecca). Occasionally a student or two get in on the action.
Romantic Entanglements: Hinkley begins the series divorced from his first wife, Alicia, with whom he has a son, Kevin; he and Pam marry in the third season.
Arch-Nemesis: Ne’er do wells of society. Neo-Nazis, this one time.
Powers and/or Proficiencies: Flight (kind of!), telekinesis, x-ray vision, super speed, pyrokinesis, invisibility, and a host of other implied powers such as magnetism, shrinking, and holographic projection. (Most of his suit’s abilities are discovered through a little trial and a whole lot of error; who knows what else it’s capable of?)
Source: The red “Supersuit” or “Magic Jammies” given to him by aliens for the noble if somewhat cryptic purpose of “saving mankind.”
Weapon(s): Only what the suit provides.
Origin Story: Dedicated teacher Ralph Hinkley takes his class on a geological field trip through the desert. On the way back, the school bus breaks down, and Ralph goes looking for help. He is nearly hit by a car, driven by FBI agent Bill Maxwell, when two bright lights appear; the two men jump into the car, but it won’t start, and the doors magically lock, trapping them inside. Aliens speak to Bill and Ralph through the car radio and announce they will bestow upon them the means to work together to change the world for the better. Bill and Ralph are given a black case containing what turns out to be a super-powered suit (complete with cape). Bill and Ralph do indeed team up, but with one glitch: they lose the directions to the Supersuit. This leaves the duo to figure out the suit’s powers as they go and then how best to use those powers to benefit humanity.
Why He’s Super: Ralph is flawed, unsure, and insecure, but he’s got a good moral compass and his heart is always in the right place. He’s sort of the Superman for the Everyman. Ralph can’t outrace a bullet. He can’t bench-press a locomotive. And his attempts and building-leaping might at best qualify him for the Superhero Special Olympics. But he uses the suit’s powers and his native humanitarianism to solve small, “real” problems. There are no super villains, and Ralph doesn’t try to save the world, except perhaps by trying to right one small injustice at a time. (Out of desperation, the network later modified this and gave Ralph challenges on more of a global scale.) Ralph is ultimately anonymous. Not just in the secret identity way either. His hero persona is never given a name. He flails instead of flies and has been called Buster Keaton in superhero tights. He teaches special education, and his name is Ralph, which is probably the least inspiring alter-ego name ever, but that only adds to his simple, down-to-earth, everyman charm. As one of the first heroes to be simultaneously mainstream, quirky, and funny without being Batman-campy, The Greatest American Hero paved the way for the likes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Tick and Mystery Men. (Plus, he had the best theme song EVER, if 80s cheez is your thing.)

-- Malcolm Matthews

4. GREEN ARROW

Created by: Mort Weisinger and George Papp
Year: 1941
Seen in: Green Arrow first appeared in More Fun Comics #73 as a bit-character in back-up features, and remained so for quite a number of years. He had his background fleshed out significantly during the early 70’s, where he was typically teamed up with Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), before climbing the pages to the top spot and garnering his own series. Having leaped from the comic-book pages to the land of television, Green Arrow has proved his staying power with geeks everywhere: appearing in the much loved Justice League: Unlimited, as well as in the likes of Batman: Brave and the Bold, and most notably, live action in Smallville, where he's (under)played by Justin Hartley. It just goes to show there's enough room in this verse for two broody billionaires with a penchant for gadgets!
Motto: If Green Arrow did have a motto, you can bet his fortune it'd be a sarcastic one!
Theme Song: Again, not one for the theme songs. But a suggestion would be on a lighter note to Batman's various theme music, with a dash of Robin Hood.
Secret Identity: Oliver "Ollie" Queen, a playboy billionaire. So original.
Nickname(s): Emerald archer, Amazing Archer, Ace Archer, Modern Day Robin Hood, The Battling Bowman.
Affiliation(s): Black Lantern Corps, Justice League, The Outsiders, Green Arrows of the World, and Queen Industries.
Sidekick(s): Connor Hawke (Oliver's son), who would go on to take on the mantle of Green Arrow. And two sidekicks, at various stages throughout his career, called Speedy: one became addicted to drugs (Roy Harper), while the other sidekick (Mia Dearden, a former prostitute) is diagnosed with HIV, so, ya know, they were given relatively light story-lines.
Romantic Entanglements: There was only one damsel, far from distress, that would claim his emerald heart: Black Canary. His love for her blinded him so much he eventually killed for her. *Smallville’s Ollie has romanced almost every female character thereon: first Lois, then Tess and, most recently, Chloe. (It’s on The CW: what can you expect?)
Arch-Nemesis: He has crossed paths with many a villain, but the Joker to his Batman is Bulls-eye: a homicidal clown, the antithesis to Green Arrow in every way possible.
Powers and/or Proficiencies: With no powers to speak of, Green Arrow more than makes up for it with stellar athleticism and hand-to-hand combat. Oh, and an arsenal of seemingly endless gadget-arrows that range from explosive arrows to boxing-glove arrows, and even kryptonite tipped arrows.
Source: Oliver studied archery at a young age and turned into an art-form.
Origin Story: Created as a more vociferous, greener shade to Batman, with obvious influences including his own cave and an arrow-shaped beacon of light to signal his required assistance, Oliver became the Green Arrow shortly after being pushed overboard by a disgruntled employee and left stranded on a desert island, presumed dead. After spending the better part of a week on the island, managing to hunt for food with the use of a make-shift arrow, Oliver stumbled upon a massacre that changed his life forever. The boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth decided at that very moment to dedicate himself to upholding Justice and returned home as the vigilante of Star City; investing millions into manufacturing various customised arrows, prowling the rooftops and generally kicking ass, he would soon adapt the name given to him by the media: Green Arrow.
Why He's Super: He's the kind of superhero you'd take around to your friend's house for a game of poker (albeit, an expensive game of poker) before racing through the streets of Star City to stop bad guys by means of glue...that explodes. He's a 24/7 laughing riot! The badass archer with the heart of emerald gold.

-- Mark Ritchie

Further Reading

Geek Speak's Smallville reviews, by Mark Ritchie
GEEK VS GEEK: DC Movies VS Marvel Movies, this issue

5. GREEN HORNET

Created by: George W. Trendle and Fran Striker
Year: 1936
Seen in: More accurately, Green Hornet was heard in his eponymous radio program for over fifteen years. He had a couple of film serials in the 40’s (kind of like TV, but you had to go to the movie theater to watch it), and then there was the short-lived 1960’s TV show which aired on ABC, and which led to the odd Batman crossover. The Green Hornet’s comic appearances are legion, including a long run offered up by the ill-fated NOW ComIcs in the early 90’s. Dynamite acquired the rights last year, and began releasing a new monthly title in March, with Kevin Smith recycling the film script he wrote back in 2004 therein -- he’s just being environmentally responsible -- along with four side titles: Year One, Parallel Lives, Strikes Again! and the upcoming Blood Ties, plus two different Kato books and a Golden Age re-issue. (Hey, this is also the comic house that gives us Farscape, Army of Darkness and Mark Waid’s Irredeemable; cut them some slack!) Forthcoming is 2011’s Green Hornet feature film bizarrely starring Seth Rogen, with genius director Michel Gondry bizarrely at the helm.
Motto: The Green Hornet strikes again!
Theme Song: The radio show made very efficient use of classical (and free) music; Rimsky-Korsokov’s "The Flight of the Bumblebee" was Hornet’s theme tune, which does lead one to suspect that entomology was not among the producers’ main interests. The horn-heavy version from the 60's TV show was prominently featured in Kill Bill, Part 1, just before the masked Crazy 88s get their asses kicked.
Secret Identity: Publishing magnate Britt Reid (the Lone Ranger’s great-nephew. Seriously.). Additionally, the Green Hornet’s identity as a crime fighter is also a secret; he’s built a reputation as a bad guy in order to go undercover among the crooks and catch them in the act.
Nickname(s): Mr. Britt (from Kato).
Affiliation(s): His newspaper, The Daily Sentinel; and the people of Century City. (He’s in league with top law enforcement, who know his true identity and purpose.)
Sidekick(s): Faithful, variably-Eastern (Japanese/Filipino/Chinese) chauffeur with fists of fury, Kato, who was of course portrayed by Bruce Lee in the 60’s TV series, which -- famously -- was known as The Kato Show in Hong Kong.
Romantic Entanglements: A few dalliances, but the only female constant in his life is faithful secretary Lenore “Casey” Case (who will be played by Cameron Diaz, but won’t be a secretary, in the movie). Also, he really digs on his car, a “rolling arsenal” with seemingly supernatural powers known as Black Beauty.
Arch-Nemesis: Green Hornet’s had his share of enemies. On radio these included crime lords Mr. Big (Hornet’s still mad about that time he left Carrie at the altar), Mr. X (Hornet’s still mad about his treatment of Mulder) and detective Oliver Perry (Hornet’s still mad about… what, the Battle of Lake Erie?). The movie will apparently feature a villain called Chudnofsky, to be played by Inglourious Basterds' Christoph Waltz -- “Oooh, that’s a bingo!”.
Powers and/or Proficiencies: He’s a genius and master of several martial arts. Plus, of course, he wields the power of the press.
Source: Innate ability, training, and a winning ticket in the genetic lottery.
Weapon(s): He has a bunch, including two non-lethal guns: one filled with knock-out gas, the other kinda like a primitive taser. Plus, of course, the Black Beauty.
Origin Story: Privileged Britt Reid is something of a dilettante, a playboy whose empire-building father wants to see grow up. So Britt is given charge of newspaper The Daily Sentinel, which he uses to champion the Little Man and take on the oppressors of freedom and liberty everywhere. Meanwhile, he and buddy/servant Kato don masks to battle the forces of evil that threaten their happy little city -- pretty much for the fun of it, though the movie apparently brings in a Batman-esque murdered father element -- masquerading as criminals to see justice served.
Why He’s Super: The Green Hornet is reviled throughout Century City as a super-villain, because he knows a good way to get in with the bad guys is a worse reputation. (He’s the proto-Michael Westen.) And then he takes them down. In a time when racism was both casual and unnoticed, The Green Hornet radio drama was notable for being not – though it was a trifle sexist, of course – and, of course, the TV series it led to gave the world Bruce Lee -- and, eventually Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. (And wouldn’t we all have been the poorer without that particular biopic in our lives?)

-- Rachel Hyland