This episode was a bit of a mixed bag, much like the season has been thus far. Again, there are so many wonderful moments pocketed away in each episode, and this one, especially, has some hilarious one liners, but where do we go from here? And how fast do we get there? (Our survey says: faster!)

I mentioned it before, and I’ll mention it again: I’m just not interested in vampire politics whatsoever. It was kooky last season, with the Fellowship of the Sun, but now that we have Queens and Kings, procurers and sheriffs, wolf-runts and the magistrate, I’m starting to feel a snooze coming on. Sure, our loveable main cast are knee deep in a pool of V, but so little has happened so far this season, due to the multitude of factions, that I’m finding it difficult to really care... about anything.

Of course, the writers always do well to poke fun of the sheer ridiculousness of their own plotting, and this week, Arlene is our champion, pointing out some blatant plot-holes (ONE staff-member running Merlotte’s, for example) and commenting that everyone just comes and goes as they please, or else ‘‘rings up dead’’ -- HA! When a show can be this cheesy (and on the verge of convoluted), it’s good to know we still have the likes of Arlene and Lafayette in our corner, always there to endure this ‘level of fucked-up-ness’ with us.

That’s not to say there are slim pickin’s, character-wise, amidst all of this howling and growling. In fact, there’s some great character work at play here, with most of it coming from a vamp I once considered the dullest character on the show: Bill Compton. Now that he has dropped his blonde bombshell, he’s easily the most fascinating and complex character right now. I literally have no idea what his agenda is. He has gone so far beyond the realms of the dark side, I honestly don’t think there’s any turning back. I really don’t want him to turn back. How can he turn back?

Bill sensed Sookie was in crazy danger and did nothing. Nothing. He also picked up a stripper and enjoyed a raunchy snack with Lorena and Russell. Worst of all, he dumped Sookie OVER THE PHONE. What a monster! Last week I called him a gentleman, I feel such a fool. On the plus side of life (or death, whatever), he callously detailed to Sookie that he and Lorena ‘‘fucked like only vampires can’’ and then super-duper-punched Lorena out of his room. I love this new Bill that seems adamant on inflicting as much damage to Lorena as physically possible. Oh, and the F-bombs, he dropped two this week. I love it!

Meanwhile, former-badass-turned-bodyguard, Eric, shows up once again, this time to save a different kind of damsel in distress. I absolutely love this pairing of Lafayette and Eric. They may not get much screen time together, but their brief encounters are usually always a hoot, not to mention the copious amounts of sexual tension oozing between them. Ok, maybe not sexual tension as such, but Eric does see Lafayette as his little pet – definitively his, if ya know what I mean – I always enjoy it on shows when two loosely-linked characters share screen time. Am I spending too much time on this? Moving on...

On the other end of the spectrum, Sookie is suffering an awful lot as a character. Without a strapping vamp by her side, her subplot comes off extremely dull. Yes, I said subplot. There’s just nothing to her storyline at all, it’s going nowhere fast. Alcide comes off a shade better this week... shirtless... and with those bulging pecks... and that six pack... and, uh, where was I? Oh, right, Sucky storylines... She has a great cameo in Eric’s daydream (snappy lines, amazing body), but this whole Where’s Wolfie quest, trying to peg which werewolf vamp-napped Bill, is already on its last legs. And how are we supposed to get behind Alcide when he dates such white-trash? (I did like his sister, though!)

I’m gonna throw Tara, Sam and Jason into the same boat this week, as there are barely any new developments made, although Tara’s storyline is definitely the strongest of the bunch (when she arrived at Russell’s, I was practically screaming at my TV for Bill to sense her). I also really enjoyed that we got to see a new element of the glamour technique when Franklin used her to communicate with Sookie (it reminded me of Terminator 2, mimicking voices and all that). Jason just falls further and further down the storyline food chain and that’s all that really needs to be said about that. And last but not least, we have Sam and his dram-o-rama with his hick family. Clearly they’re not going to agree to his terms for long – no stealing or drinking in exchange for free digs – and so it kind of just fizzles out, probably going to continue with this will they/won’t they screw him over teasing until the final few episodes.

It’s a fast-paced episode with a lot going on (an awful lot), but since we’re still primarily in the transitional stages of the season, all we can really do is sit back and wait. And that’s what a lot of characters have been doing too: waiting.

There are so many wonderful quotables to quote in this episode, and that’s what keeps it fresh. But True Blood needs to up its game. Technically, it’s still early days, but witty lines and the odd stroke of genius cannot distract me from the fact that my initial opinion of this show way back in season 1 may ring true: it can only really work when you can consume an entire season in one gulp, via box-set.

Oh. I almost forgot. Writers, if you kill off Pam, I will hunt you down. That is all.

The Cheklist

Vampires Vs Werewolves:	Vamps win again this week, as we find out that Russell supplies them with his blood to keep them obedient. I was slightly frightened by the wolf pack initiation scenes, though: after last week’s crazy sex scene, I thought that... ya know... the wolf and that woman had to... ya know.
Cliff-hanger:	Sookie is trapped in the wolf bar while everyone, including Alcide, begins to transform. Bill, meanwhile, stays put and procures himself a nice snack, even if he can sense she’s in immediate danger.
Pam's Corner:	Tortured for most of the episode, Eric’s child doesn’t get that much of the funny this week, but our gal manages to throw the magistrate off Eric’s scent by accusing Bill of dealing out V. Very clevah!

  -- Mark Ritchie

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