That cliff-hanger will surely turn a few heads. I certainly didn’t see that twist coming. The final few minutes of this instalment sped on by at a breakneck pace.

Oh, True Blood, just when I think you’ve lost all of your smutty HBO mojo (from last season’s orgy upon orgy upon orgy), you offer up, quite possibly, the most deranged sex scene ever committed to the small screen.

I kinda love you for that.

The web has been set ablaze with disgust (even from the most loyal of fans) over Bill’s demonic sexcapades with his former lover and maker, Lorena (Marina Kleveno), at the end of this episode. I sorta get where they’re coming from. I mean, to be perfectly honest, it did shock me. (It also tickled me a bit -- Bill managed to save a few cents on a brown paper bag.)

Actually, scrap that. I don’t know where they’re coming from. This is a show about vampires. It’s on HBO. Do the math. Shock-factor aside, these are vampires we’re dealing with. This is not Buffy. This certainly isn’t Twilight. Vampires are blood-thirsty, sex-driven, animalistic, soulless beings. They’re supposed to be utterly terrifying, and, oh yeah, DEAD.

If you’re going to highlight an ick-factor, let’s start with the fact we’re watching two corpses go at it like bunnies! They may be eye pleasing dead folk, but it still doesn’t take away from the fact that Lorena and Bill were six feet under, once upon a time; they’re corpses that feed on blood to survive. It’s only (super)natural that they’re able to do certain things we humans may find appalling. So for all of you viewers out there that are up in arms about that sex scene: get over it.

It’ll be interesting to see what Sookie makes of this development. Head-twist-y sex aside, Bill is a gentleman -- he’ll eventually tell Sookie that he has been unfaithful to her. I just hope, for his sake, he leaves out the Linda Blair part and explains that (in, admittedly, a very warped way) that he was protecting her. Right? We know that if Lorena wanted, she could have Bill at any moment (we saw that last season when she effortlessly held him against his will). It was Bill’s conscious decision to super speed on over to that bed and fuck the living daylights out of her. He had to ensure that Lorena believed he had defected from his Queen, to prevent Lorena, or anyone else, from laying a fang on Sookie.

Of course, Sookie has an unlikely ally in the form of Eric to protect her, as well her new guard dog, Alcide (Joe Mananiello), who comes off strikingly bland, in an episode with shifters, severed heads, vamp sex, and flashy new cars. I’m not sure what to make of him yet; his low-key entrance may be the writers’ attempt to throw us off the scent of what’s to come (fingers crossed!). I hope more is made of his relationship with Eric, and that rumblings of a wedding mean stronger wolf stories in future episodes, ‘cos I’m still finding it hard to muster up any positive feelings about the addition of werewolves in the True Blood verse – so far they’ve been nothing but a quick snack for Bill and Eric.

Speaking of the towering Blonde, Eric gets some great comedic moments in this episode. He may not be in it for long, but the writers do well to give him a lighter side than we’re used to (he’s really putting on the charm now that Bill is away). I loved when he suggested to Sookie to, er, suck the silver out of him again, or his ‘‘subtle’’ remark about getting her rug all wet (like I said, such a charmer). Pam, too, has one really funny scene. Firstly, I’m thrilled to finally see her enjoy the company of a plaything of her own -- Eric seems to always beat her to the punch. Secondly, I love that she’s now undertaking the role of Jessica’s surrogate mother/mentor/maker. It’s so wonderfully bizarre.

Elsewhere, Tara has become, yet again, a victim of mind-control. And yet again, it results in fantastic sex. It’s a pity that her character seems to be stuck on a constant downer, though. Hookay, so her cardboard cut-out died. It’s sad, I get it. And it really has only been a day or two since Eggs passed. But it has been four episodes for us viewer folk (I’m including the finale here) since he bit the bullet, and now that he’s dead AND buried, can we move on, please? Can I have angry, likeable Tara back now?

Still, her plight paves the way for Franklin (played menacingly by James Frain), a badass vampire who knows how to make an entrance on this show (Alcide, take note!). What he’s up to exactly is still on the fuzzy side of things, but the fact that he’s making the effort to get to know all about Bill, interacting with the likes of Jessica (funny and gross!), and generally studying up on Bon Temp history, means he aint goin’ nowhere. But why is he so interested in Tara? (I loved that line about things going wrong whenever she invites anybody into Sookie’s house.) And what did he mean when he said he finds things? Is he some kind of bounty hunter?

We also have quite a few side-stories simmering away, too: Arlene’s visit to the doctor reveals that she’s almost 10 weeks pregnant, which means Terry isn’t the father (then who is? Is it Rene? I’m not exactly sure of this show’s timeline); Sam is visited by his newfound family, but things turn sour fairly quickly; And Jason, still suffering from seeing bullet-holes on everybody’s forehead, decides that law enforcement is the way forward for him (I’m getting really sick of this character).

Much like the last two episodes, this is all mostly setup. On the grand scheme of things, not that much particularly happens this week.

It’s one thing saying ‘sure, it’s the only the third episode, what’s the rush?’ in a full 22-episode season. But we’ve only got 12, and that’s 3 episodes now where the character interaction has been entertaining as hell, but there’s no driving arc. There’s no centre plot. There’s just too much going on and the writing staff are spreading themselves a little thin. Former bit-characters are now receiving arcs of their own, which is neat, but when it compromises the flow of the episode, especially cribbing screen time from main plots, you have to wonder if less is more at the end of the day.

I’m interested to see where it’s all heading, so they’re obviously doing something right. It’s just... well... with every main character enjoying a hefty storyline, there’s no ensemble. Intimate moments feel rushed. It feels like I’m watching a ‘previously on’ segment where I’m missing the quieter moments of the show. I miss the quieter moments on this show.

Overall, a strong offering, to be sure, ‘It Hurts Me Too’ may not work for me as a whole, but there are just so many irons in the fire at the moment, that one of the season’s biggest downfalls is ultimately one of its strengths – if there’s a storyline you’re not enjoying, not to worry, as there are about six other stories at play, and at least one of them is bound to tickle your fancy.

The Checklist

Vampires Vs Werewolves:	Our pale friends win again this week due to stronger storylines, and Bill’s superb flashback! Oh, and Eric kills one in the opening teaser!
Cliff-hanger:	Bill looks as though he has lost the plot entirely after having wild, crazy vampire sex with Lorena.
Pam's Corner:	"Close your eyes and think of Estonia." She may not get much this week, but her ladyfriend scene sure is memorable! And she looks as hot as ever!

  -- Mark Ritchie

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