Chronicles of a Reluctant Reviewer, Part 4

In the paranormal romance world, one reader encounters two separate yet equally important factors: The paranormal , which potentially could be interesting, and the romance, which potentially causes much grimacing. This is his story. <chung, CHUNG>

Whilst listening once again to the strange, disembodied voice that occasionally seems to follow him around to narrate the above introduction/disclaimer, our fearless reviewer made a realization. There is a third item that he considers important that is missing from said introduction. Plot. And the introduction isn't the only place such a thing is missing. Our reviewer discovered that the latest book that has been foisted upon him (well, he realizes that the Powers That Be would claim that the book was "bestowed" upon him, rather than foisted, but he will stick by his terminology), the romance book North of Need, also lacks a plot.

Our reviewer pauses for a minute. He considers the possibility that that statement may not be fair or entirely accurate. Perhaps the book has a plot, but just nothing happens. Or maybe things happen, but there is no plot? He is not sure.

What he is sure of, though, is that he can summarize the "plot" of the book rather quickly. Grieving widow Megan Snow meets minor god of winter Owen Winters who, at the apparent behest of her dead husband, has to make her fall in love with him within a few days in order to ensure them both a lifetime of happiness. That is it. Nothing really going on. No real conflict or drama. Just a romance.

Once again, our reviewer is forced to contemplate how little he understands women, as it seems like a woman, particularly grieving as protagonist Megan is, would be rather bothered by a guy, god or otherwise, coming on so strong, instead of, apparently, getting hot and bothered. Our reviewer hmmmms to himself.

Our reviewer was amused, however, that the author Laura Kaye makes connections between her godly pantheon and global warming.

With not much plot, conflict, or drama to discuss (or "review", if you will), the reviewer realizes, much to his chagrin, that there isn't much else to mention other than a main aspect to such romance books (from his limited understanding): Sex. There is sex in this book. Amidst all of our shy reviewer's blushing, he does make note of the fact that the language used in such scenes was a little odd. He does know there is quite the wide spectrum of potential descriptors used, from the crude and explicit to flowery and subtle. This particular book tends toward the flowery-side of descriptions with some noticeably crude exceptions.

The reviewer does think that the author missed the opportunity to have her characters make some pop culture references by having them watch (or read) Game of Thrones, thus giving new meaning to the tagline "Winter is coming".

With the aforementioned lack of conflict or plot (at least insofar as he prefers and expects from books), our reviewer was confused as to how and why this was Book 1 of a new series, as he couldn't figure out what could happen in a sequel. Intrepid reviewer that he is, though, led to him actually doing some research, from which it was discovered that apparently future books focus on other directionally-related god(s), as opposed to the North/Winter crowd, with the next book West of Want arriving in March 2012, and the next two books following in four-month increments. This causes our reviewer to wonder if all four books were written before any were released so that they could somewhat correspond to their respective seasons upon release, or if it just that these types of books can just be written in a matter of a few months to begin with.

Our reviewer decides that the bottom line is that this book really had nothing that he looks for in a book, as one might expect had one been following the Chronicles of our reviewer to this point. He will say, though, that were one wanting to read what is effectively a straight-up fantasy, then this book was fine. He guesses.

He does admit, though, that with the seasons turning as they were, he wouldn't mind finding himself with his own goddess-esque-or-otherwise Snow Fox, and wonders if he'll have to trigger such a meeting by building his own snow-woman, as is apparently the key. Oh, and snow. That's probably needed, too.

   -- K. Burtt