Transformers: Dark of the Moon is Michael Bay’s finest achievement. It is not his best film (that honor will always reside with The Rock, one of the best action pictures of the 1990s), but it is his most mature film to date. After disappointing everyone, including himself, with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Bay went back to the drawing board with the final film in his robotic orgy of mayhem and destruction, and rehauled just about everything. While the results are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, it shows that he may not be quite the hack we always thought he was. And that he knows exactly how to end things with a bang.

Picking up a few years after the travesty involving the Fallen, Dark of the Moon (as in the dark side of the moon, in case anyone is not catching the blatancy of not infringing on any Pink Floyd copyrights) revolves around secret government cover-ups, the US/Russian space race of the 1960s, high-level assassinations, secret counter-terrorism ops involving the Autobots, and Sam Witwicky’s (Shia LaBeouf) search to find his place in the world.

It may sound just as busy as the previous two films, but Dark of the Moon manages to let the story flow organically through the first two acts. It feels significantly more grounded immediately after it starts, and all the threads manage to lead somewhere. There are very few loose ends, and even fewer useless subplots here. And rather surprisingly, there are very few action scenes splitting up the story beats. It stalls a little in some places due to a serious lack of trying to cram too much in at once, but considering how unchaotically paced the story feels, I am willing to give more than enough credit to Bay and writer Ehren Kruger for composing something that actually held my interest and did not lose me twenty minutes in. Unlike the previous two installments, I actually felt some vague form of investment in what was going on here. The government intrigue was significantly more interesting than I wanted to give it credit for and the blending in of the Apollo 11 mission and infamous space race was so incredibly well done that you could almost forget you are watching a film about cars that transform into robots. The Buzz Aldrin cameo early on is simply marvelous.

But what is really impressive about the film is how grown up it feels. When I watched Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I knew I was watching slickly produced movies primarily sold to teenagers and young males. While watching Dark of the Moon, it felt like it was attempting to cater to a more adult audience. The dark nature of the film is simply astounding, and becomes downright brutal in some areas (the robots bleed some form of liquid frequently during battle). I was really surprised by Bay’s go-for-broke style, but it works for the tone the film strives for. There are more than a few shocking moments sprinkled throughout as well that really push the PG-13 rating of the film. I am talking Dark Knight-style levels of darkness and misery.

While the dark nature of the film flows throughout its excessive running time, the longest of the trilogy, the story comes to a screeching halt when it hits the third act and the massive battle scene begins. You may have read that it lasts almost an hour, and while my exact timing was off, it came pretty close. It is an absolutely insane, balls-to-the-wall action piece that simply needs to be seen to be believed. The blend of special effects, practical effects and 3D effects is outstanding. The trailer scene involving the Decepticons trying to take down a skyscraper with the human characters inside it is of particular note, because of how preposterously breathtaking it is. The addition of the real 3D effects helps make the battle, and the robot brawlers, feel more real than ever. Bay has staged some awesome fights in the previous two films, but this ridiculous heart-stopping battle is simply incredible and outdoes every single one. It is worth the price of admission alone, Transformers fan or not.

Of course, this is a Transformers film, so my praise can only go so far.

As you likely have guessed, the film is far too long for its own good. It comes in at 157 minutes, and it feels even longer. Some scenes drag themselves out unnecessarily, and others are cut up way too quick. There is no middle ground, and it often feels like a test of endurance to sit through the entire picture. But what really drags it out is the obscene level of comedy taking place before the final battle starts. I mentioned how adult the film is, but it still attempts to bring in the child audience with goofy jokes and ridiculously zany performances from John Malkovich, John Turturro, Alan Tudyk and especially Ken Jeong, playing a less coked out but significantly more paranoid version of Mr. Chow from The Hangover. The previous two films seemed like they had a few too many jokes, but here they just feel forced and overdone – as if they had to pander to the younger audience. It makes the film feel desperate in its need to balance the light with the dark. The gags instantly disappear when the battle starts and all hell breaks loose, so why was there a need to have so many of them there in the first place? I laughed at a few of the jokes, but there were a lot that could have easily been chopped right out.

Also, Bay may have said he cut the deplorable and hideously racist characters referred to as “the Twins”, but he added at least three new Autobots and one returning Autobot to take their place. They are not nearly as offensive, but are just as aggravating and annoying.

Acting wise, there are not a lot of standouts. LaBeouf does his usual scared hero routine, and both Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson do their usual kick ass and take names routine. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is absolutely stunning eye-candy as Sam’s new squeeze Carly, and she wisely does not even attempt to act. She simply screams, and helps the audience out by asking Sam questions and interrogating the villain on their dastardly plans. To her credit, it is not like Bay even wants her to try and do much; he introduces her by cropping the frame to only fit in her tiny black panties and barely done up dress shirt, and then zooms in on her from behind as she wiggles up a flight of stairs. At least we never complained about his subtlety, right?

Frances McDormand does well in a thankless turn as a CIA honcho, but Patrick Dempsey is likely the only human character who gets to chew scenery and not completely overact while doing it. I have yet to be impressed with him as a film actor, but he gives a great performance here, easily outshining everyone not playing a robot. Voicewise, Peter Cullen and Hugo Weaving are excellent as always as Optimus Prime and Megatron, as is the absolutely impeccable Leonard Nimoy playing Sentinel Prime.

I wanted to love Transformers: Dark of the Moon for everything that is done right and all the mistakes it makes up for. But it still has its share of problems that seem to be characteristic of the franchise more than anything else. Yet, do not let these issues hold you back from experiencing the sheer absurdity of Bay’s robot opera. It is a wild event, and one of the few true worthwhile blockbusters we have seen this summer. After being disappointed by the previous two films, I can say without fault that I was made a fan by this film. Sure, I am a little disenchanted by a few of the more out of character moments a few weeks after seeing it, but I can look past them. I just wish this was the beginning of the trilogy, not the end.

   -- David Baldwin