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Issue 16
June 2011
THE TOP 13... SHAPESHIFTERS
From Mystique to Madam Mim, and from Sirius to the Smoke Monster, a look at the two-, three-, or even thousand-natured heroes and villains we've come to love, loathe or just lose in a crowd..
by Daniel Arenson


Why The Top 13?

Sure, there’s Saturn 3, Babylon 5, Blake’s 7 and District 9. But what number could be geekier than 13? Not only is there its inherent creepiness, but there’s also The 13th Immortal, The 13th Warrior and The 13th Floor. There’s spooky gore-fest Friday the 13th and those plucky, kick-ass comic book kids, Gen13. There’s Warehouse 13, The X-Files' oft-referenced 1013, and the 13 tribes of Kobol. Plus, the Munsters lived at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. So, we at Geek Speak Magazine bring you the Top 13 of... well, whatever strikes our fancy.

Just be glad we didn’t elect to go with The Top 1701...


Shapeshifters have filled books, films, and legends for centuries.
From medieval werewolves to modern superheroes, shapeshifters are everywhere. In fact, since they can shapeshift, they're probably in even more places than we realize. But who are the greatest among them?

In honor of Jennifer Lawrence’s recent appearance as the young Mystique in X-Men: First Class, along with new summer shows Teen Wolf (teenage boy transforms into a wolf) and The Nine Lives of Chloe King (teenage girl grows claws and acts like a cat) -- not to mention the main characters in a little book called Blood of Requiem, many of whom can turn into dragons -- let us take a look…


 1. Count Bloodcount
Merrie Melodies

First appearance: Transylvania 6-5000 (1963)
Further seen: Daffy Duck’s Quackbusters (1988) and in a couple of episodes of Duck Dodgers.
Played by: Ben Frommer and Jeff Bennett
COUNT: I am a vampire.
BUGS: Oh, yeah? Well, abacadabra, I'm an umpire! [dons umpire’s uniform]
COUNT: Hocus Pocus, I'm a bat! [turns into a bat]
BUGS: Okay. I'm a bat too! Abacadabra! [turns into a baseball bat]
COUNT: [putting on glasses] You wouldn't hit a bat with glasses on, would you?
  [Bat hits Count]
  -- Transylvania 6-5000

Abraca-pocus! Bugs Bunny continuously outsmarted Count Blood Count, the bumbling vampire. True, the Count was never the most competent of shapeshifters. And true, he could only shapeshift when Bugs cast the right spell. But he's definitely the most endearing shapeshifter on the list, and that deserves top spot.

Enjoy it again here:


 2. T-1000
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

First appearance: Naked, in T2.
Further seen: In the Malibu Comics based on T2, a similar model is seen in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, and word is that the T-1000 origins will be explored in the allegedly forthcoming Terminator 5. Also there is T2 3-D: Battle Across Time, the 1996 Universal Studios Themepark movie that runs 12 minutes and cost $60 million.
Played by: Robert Patrick
JOHN CONNOR: You're telling me that this thing can imitate anything it touches?
THE TERMINATOR: Anything it samples by physical contact.
JOHN CONNOR: Get real, like it could disguise itself as a pack of cigarettes?
THE TERMINATOR: No, only an object of equal size.
JOHN CONNOR: Why doesn’t it become a bomb or something to get me?
THE TERMINATOR: It can’t form complex machines, guns and explosives have chemicals, moving parts, it doesn't work that way, but it can form solid metal shapes.
JOHN CONNOR: Like what?
THE TERMINATOR: Knives and stabbing weapons.

The problem with Arnold Schwarzenegger is that he's so tough, most villains just don't seem threatening around him. The fights in *Total Recall were never too scary; you knew Arnold could easily beat whoever stood against him (even Sharon Stone). His enemies in Commando were laughable. The girl Terminator from *T3 was easy on the eyes, but not particularly scary. Clearly, it takes a real supervillain to truly threaten Arnold. Somebody like the Predator... or like T-1000, the nearly unstoppable shapeshifting robot that is our runner-up in the coolest shapeshifter stakes.

 3. Mystique
X-Men
First appearance: Ms. Marvel #16, May 1978
Further Seen: In pretty much every Marvel title, plus the movies X-Men, X-2, X-3: The Last Stand and X-Men: First Class
Played by: Rebecca Romijn and Jennifer Lawrence
MYSTIQUE: As anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't even treat my friends very well. You can just imagine what I do to my enemies.
  -- X-Men Unlimited #4

Mystique is beautiful, dangerous, and evil. A supervillain and a super shapeshifter.

 4. Madam Mim
The Sword and the Stone

First appearance: The Sword in the Stone by T. H. White, first published 1938 and later republished as part of The Once and Future King
Further seen: She showed up in the 1992 Disney videogame World of Illusion
Played by: Martha Wentworth
MADAM MIM: Now, first of all, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules.
ARCHIMEDES: Rules indeed! Why, she only wants rules so she can break 'em.

This villainous witch could transform into anything -- from a beautiful temptress, to a sparrow, to a dragon. Her shapeshifting duel against Merlin is one of cinema's greatest battles.

Watch it now!



5. Grimlock
Transformers

First appearance: Generation 1 Transformers toys
Further seen: In the 1980’s Transformers cartoon, various comic books and young readers. Additionally, there have been assorted other toy versions of Grimlock released -- twenty and counting!
Played by: David Kaye, Tom Wyner and Gregg Berger
GRIMLOCK: Me Grimlock not care, whole planet fall apart! Make no difference to me, Grimlock.
WHEELJACK: With you on it?
GRIMLOCK: Hmm... hadn't thought of that.
  -- "The Ultimate Doom: Search (Part 2)" (01.12)

Grimlock is among the fiercest Autobots, possibly even more powerful than Optimus Prime. Head of the Dinobots, in his T-rex mode his jaws can snap virtually anything that comes between them -- from steel cables to a Decepticon limb. He's stupid, talks like a caveman, and isn't particularly loyal, and he's so unstable, he's kept in hibernation, and woken up to fight only at the most dire times. You didn't see Grimlock often, but when he did wake up, you knew it would be a great time.

 6. Sirius Black, AKA Padfoot
Harry Potter

Played by: Gary Oldman, in a bizarre piece of casting; young Sirius played by James Walters.
First appearance: Book 3 in the series, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (1999)
Further seen: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2000) and seen (then mourned) in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2002). He also appears as a kind of ghost in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (2007).
“Sirius was a brave, clever, and energetic man, and such men are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger."
-- Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J. K. Rowling

Harry Potter's mentor could shapeshift into a black dog. His canine form came in handy when he had to accompany Harry without being recognized, and without Sirius's shapeshifting abilities, Harry would have a much tougher time fighting Voldemort.

7. M-113 Creature
Star Trek

Played by: Sharon Gimpel (also DeForrest Kelley and two guest stars)
First appearance: “The Man Trap” (01.01)
Further seen: It was shot and killed by Doctor McCoy in the episode, but a similar creature was seen in Trelane’s trophy room in “The Squire of Gothos” (01.18), and since it is a Star Trek character, it does, of course have its own action figure.
CAPTAIN KIRK: Captain's log, additional. Armed and able-bodied crewmen are not attacked and slaughtered this easily. Apparently the killer can immobilize them as it approaches, perhaps with some hypnotic or paralyzing power.

The M-113 Creature was pretty scary back in the 60’s. She stalked the crew of the Enterprise, taking various human forms. If she caught you alone, she sucked the salt from your body (hence her alternate name, the salt vampire), which apparently is lethal. Definitely a creepy, powerful shapeshifter; not only the first but also one of the most memorable creatures from the Star Trek universe.

8. Isabeau d'Anjou
Ladyhawke (1985)

Played by: Michelle Pfeiffer
First appearance: In Ladyhawke, really.
Further seen: Only in fanfic, and as the stage name of a popular New Zealand singer/songwriter.
BISHOP: A beautiful woman with alabaster skin and the eyes of a dove. She travels by night, only by night. Her sun is the moon. And her name is... Isabeau.

Having spurned the advances of a powerful man, Medieval beauty Isabeau is cursed with a dual existence, always to be a hawk during the day, and a woman at night, while her lover is a man during the night and a wolf in the daytime. (And is played by Rutger Hauer… which is probably why he has no place on this list.)

9. The Thing
John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982)

First appearance: John W. Campbell’s 1938 novella Who Goes There, which was the inspiration for The Thing from Another World (1951)
Further seen: There’s a a comic book based on the movie, a videogame sequel, and a remake is due out this October.
Played by: Pretty decent special effects, considering it was the 80’s.
CLARK: I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is.

This thing from outer space can mimic anyone he eats. Including animals. He's gross, ugly, slimy, and wholly unpleasant. When you're stuck in Antarctica, you really don't want this thing for company.

10. The Hulk
The Incredible Hulk, et al.

Played by: Bill Bixby/Lou Ferigno, Eric Bana and Edward Norton, among others.
First appearance: The Incredible Hulk #1, May 1962
Further seen: In almost every Marvel title, plus in his 1977 TV series, a whole lot of animated fare, the Ang Lee Hulk and the far superior Edward Norton version. Also, he’ll be in Joss Whedon’s Avengers movie! (Played by Mark Ruffalo, so… hmm.)
NIGHTHAWK: The Monsters say you're afraid of them, Hulk. They say they're stronger then you -- and that your mother wears combat boots!
HULK: Monsters said WHAT?!
  -- The Defenders, Vol. 2 #7, September 2001

He's incredible; of course he's on the list. The angrier he gets, the bigger he gets and the stronger he gets. To quote Jeff Dunham: "Just like every white trash guy on Cops." Except, he also turns green.


11. The Beast
Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Played by: Robby Benson
First appearance: La Belle et la Bête is a traditional French fairy tale that first saw publication by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve in 1740.
Further seen: In dozens of interpretations, including the 1980’s TV series starring Ron Perlman and the recent Alex Pettyfer nonsense Beastly.
GASTON: If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster.
BELLE: He's no monster, Gaston. You are!

He only shapeshifted once, and he turned into Fabio.

12. The Smoke Monster/Man in Black
Lost

Played by: Almost the entire cast… and some nifty special effects.
First appearance: First heard in “Pilot” (01.01); first seen as a dead guy in “Walkabout” (01.04); and then in smoke form, “Exodus, Part 2” (01.24)
Further seen: Throughout the remainder of the series.
THE MAN IN BLACK: Hydra Island, we're taking the outrigger.
SAWYER: Well, why do you gotta take a boat? Can't you just do your smoke thing and fly your ass over the water?
THE MAN IN BLACK: If I could do that, do you think I'd still be here?
SAWYER: [Sarcastic] No, 'cause that'd be ridiculous!
  -- “The Package” (06.10)

One of the main villains of Lost, this ancient diety could shapeshift into the form of anyone who died on the island, though he was especially fond of the persona dubbed by fans as The Man in Black. He was also fond of chasing people through the jungle in his smoke monster form. He'd rank higher on this list except that the last couple seasons were so confusing they turned our minds into smoke too.

13. Fin Raziel
Willow (1988)

Played by: Patricia Hayes
First appearance: Well… in Willow.
 Further seen: The Willow world was elaborated on in three godawful books written by Chris Claremont and plotted by George Lucas himself: Shadow Moon (1995), Shadow Dawn (1996) and Shadow Star (2000). Fin Raziel doesn’t appear in any of them.
MADMARTIGAN: What are you going to look like if this works?
FIN RAZIEL: Don't interrupt.
MADMARTIGAN: Sorry.
FIN RAZIEL: I'm a young beautiful woman
MADMARTIGAN: Concentrate, Willow!

This sorceress spent years as a rodent. It was up to Willow (Warwick Davis), the hero, to transform her back into a woman. Willow, a poor sorcerer, transformed her into a whole assortment of creatures until he got the magic right. Sadly, Fin Raziel could not transform at will, but her shapeshifting scene was so smashing, she deserves a spot on the list.
-- Daniel Arenson

Geek Speak Magazine would like to thank Special Guest Contributor Daniel Arenson for this Top 13. Be sure to check out his latest book, Blood of Requiem, about dragon shapeshifters. 'Cause... how cool is that? 

Further Reading:

Our review of Flaming Dove by Daniel Arenson
Zelazny Zealotry, with a contribution from Daniel Arenson
Previous Top 13's

♦ Doctor Who Companions, Issue 15, May 2011
 ♦ Fantasy Villains, Issue 14, April 2011
♦ Geek Speak Recommendations, Issue 13, March 2011
♦ Paranormal Romance Clichés, Issue 12, February 2011
♦ Robots, Male Division, Issue 11, January 2011
♦ Geek Gifts, Issue 10, December 2010
♦ Nameless Extras Made Good, Issue 9, November 2010
♦ Pop-Culture Witches, Issue 8, October 2010
♦ Confusing Movies of All Time, Issue 7, September, 2010
♦ Superheroes Without Superpowers, Issue 6, August 2010
♦ Genre Heroines Who Kick Ass, Literary Division, Issue 5, July, 2010
♦ Vampires! Issue 4, June 2010
♦ Geek Goddesses, Issue 3, May, 2010
♦ Genre-Themed Songs, Issue 2, April 2010
♦ Genre Parodies, Issue 1, March 2010



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