Gone are the days when summer television meant only sport, game shows and reruns of Gilligan’s Island. The savvy cable networks first cottoned to the notion that not everyone is at the beach during the long, sunny days the non-ratings period brings, and thence began offering up some of their flagship shows during the otherwise barren wasteland between the spring finales and fall premieres. HBO has long given unto us premium viewing during these months, and USA cleverly divides seasons of its major original series into halves (Psych, Burn Notice, White Collar) leaving us with both summer and spring premieres.

While the major networks have yet to take up that particular clever piece of programming whimsy -- preferring to extend the money-making duration of their hit shows with sporadic “encore presentation” weeks and the much dreaded hiatuses (seriously: hiati?) -- they have nevertheless followed suit in offering up an increasingly greater array of first-run series from June till September. And while it must be conceded that often they use the summer as a dumping ground for probable failures (remember The Gates and Happy Town debacles of 2010?), occasionally a big hit will come out of the experiment (Northern Exposure, Seinfeld… even American Idol).

Here we look at the many season and series premieres of Summer 2011…

ALPHAS
New
Premiere: Monday, July 11, 10:00 PM
Syfy

Just in case Heroes, the UK’s awesome Misfits and this past season’s canceled Tower Prep and No Ordinary Family haven’t covered the normal-people-with-superpowers trope enough recently (plus, y’know, X-Men), Syfy takes a trip to that generous well with the introduction of a team of genetically suped-up do-gooders who take on criminals that also have superpowers. Any qualms we might have can be forgiven on the grounds that Zak Penn is listed as a co-creator, and he wrote the scripts for Fantastic Four, X3, Elektra… and Inspector Gadget. However, a promising cast and some familiar Star Trek-ian names among the extensive list of Executive Producers might mean… well, it’s worth a shot, right?

BURN NOTICE
Season 5
Premiere: Thursday, June 23, 9:00 PM
USA

At the end of Season 4, the beguiling and beleaguered Michael “I Used to Be a Spy” Westen (Jeffrey Donovan) was on the cusp of being welcomed back into the bosom of his CIA brethren after four long years of trying to clear his name. Having spent those years holed up in the perennially sunny Miami, helping the helpless, sporadically hooking up with his superhot sometimes-girlfriend Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar), palling around with hard-drinking Lothario Sam (Bruce Campbell), looking good in designer suits and generally being awesome, Michael is ready to get back to his government-sanctioned roots… and, as the first episode of the new season (hi, Grant Show!) made clear, they are equally excited to have him back. Quite what this means for the unofficial, quixotic team he’s formed with Sam, Fi and their pal Jesse (Coby Bell) remains to be seen... and see it we all should, because Burn Notice is kickass.

COVERT AFFAIRS
Season 2
Premiere: Tuesday, June 7, 10:00 PM
USA

As Season 1 ended, our heroine Annie Walker (Piper Perabo), junior CIA agent and former flame of rogue operative Ben Mercer (Eion Bailey), was praying at his stretcher side after he had been shot in the line of murky black-ops duty. The second season kicked off with Ben alive and recovering, but not yet ready to settle down with Annie, apparently; he took an off-the-books assignment from CIA head honcho Arthur (Peter Gallagher), leaving our heroine to the tender ministrations of fellow agents Jai (the unfathomably beautiful Sendhil Ramamurthy) and best-friend/maybe more Auggie (Christopher Gorham, who’s not too bad himself). Against the background of a somewhat tedious investigation into secretive doings at the Agency (secretive spies? Surely not!), Annie is back in the field for yet more missions of the week, looking hot, taking names and occasionally kicking a little ass -- in improbably high heels.

EUREKA
Season 4.5
Premiere: Monday, July 11, 8:00 PM
Syfy

After yet another unconscionably long wait between the two halves of a season (September was a long time ago, Syfy), we at last return to the small government-run town of Eureka. Populated by scientific geniuses with an unfortunate tendency to go all Dr. Horrible and thence make Sherriff Jack Carter (Colin Ferguson) risk his life to save the town -- and/or the world -- on a regular basis, things have recently been made all the more wacky by a season-long alternate reality storyline, in which Carter and four other townsfolk found themselves first in 1947 and then back to the future, but living subtly different lives. Hitchhiker from the 40’s, Dr. Trevor Grant (James Callis) bade his adieus at the end of 4.0, and now with Carter and long-time love interest Dr. Allison Blake finally an item (and ignoring the utter pablum that was the non sequitur-ish Christmas episode), who knows where events in this kooky little hamlet will take us? We can only hope that this experiment in domestic bliss is one that -- unlike almost every other one conducted in Eureka -- does not go awry.

FALLING SKIES
New
Premiere: Sunday, June 19, 9:00 PM
TNT

Starring the perennially adorable Noah Wyle and with Steven Spielberg’s name prominently displayed in all advance press, Falling Skies takes place after an alien invasion has plunged the planet into an endless battle for survival against the advanced, menacing and vaguely arachnid Skitters. The series kicked off with an increasingly-rare, quite captivating 2-hour premiere that saw furious firefights, some wry humor, alien-controlled children and subsistence-level scavenging of the Reign of Fire/Zombieland/The Walking Dead variety. Wyle cleverly plays Thomas Mason, a scholar of military history with a passel of kids (one missing), a new command position amongst a phalanx of survivors, and an almost immediately-established love interest. So far, this one is a damned good time. Recommended.

FUTURAMA
Season 6B
Premiere: Thursday, June 23, 10:00 PM
Comedy Central

Futurama is one of those little-show-that-could shows. It was canceled, then fan outcry led to a bunch of TV specials, which eventually led to an all new season at its most recent Comedy Central home. Unfortunately, this second (or third… or tenth) chance has been effectively squandered by, well, almost all of Season 6 to date -- or Season 6A, as it is now being dubbed. 6B comes at us after a seven-month break, and considering it kicked off its return with the abysmally pointless reflection on gender roles that was “Neutopia” (06.14), one really has to wonder why anyone is even bothering with Fry, Leela and the gang anymore.

Oh, wait. Bender. Yeah, he’s still funny.

HAVEN
Season 2
Premiere: Friday, July 15, 10:00 PM
Syfy

As Season 1 of this allegedly based-on-Stephen-King’s-The Colordado Kid series (it really has very little in common with its source material) came to an end, kewpie doll-faced and redoubtable FBI agent Audrey Parker (Emily Rose) had just uncovered the fact that she is apparently not the person she always thought she was… and is also a good deal older than she looks. Her partner and love interest, Nathan (Lucas Bryant), had just lost not one but two fathers in the space of a day and had also tenderly revealed that, although he has no sense of touch, he can feel her touch. Aww.

So, what is next for the inhabitants of this wacky little seaside town, in which anything can happen, and pretty much does? One hardly dares speculate, but going on past evidence: Audrey will handily solve multiple paranormal mysteries while looking cute, Nathan will continue to scorn and mock her while undressing her with his eyes, his chief rival Duke (Eric Balfour) will be ever so devil-may-care and handsome, and the plotline will bear little or no resemblance to anything ever penned by Stephen King.

And, strangely, there will be nothing wrong with any of that. Plus, Jason Priestly joins the cast!

OUTCASTS
New
Premiere: Saturday, June 18, 9:00 PM
BBC America

Running on the BBC earlier this year, the eight-part Outcasts takes place on the planet Carpathia, fifteen years after a terrible nuclear cataclysm rendered Earth uninhabitable. This is not an easy show to watch by any means; there is much confusing intrigue, anti-heroes (not to mention anti-villains) abound, we are confronted with shocking imagery, casual brutality and motivations so opaque as to render everyone entirely untrustworthy. All of which makes this uncomfortable and yet compelling post-apocalyptic viewing… and, hey! Jamie Bamber! (For a while, anyway.)

TEEN WOLF
New
Premiere: Sunday, June 5, 8:00 PM
MTV

MTV continues its trend of not playing music on television with this serialized version of the beloved 1988 Michael J. Fox high school fantasy film. Fox’s short but enthusiastic basketballer is replaced by a would-be lacrosse player Scott McCall (Tyler Posey), his genetic anomaly is replaced by a werewolf bite, and it looks like his wolfiness is going to remain unknown here -- unlike that ridiculous turn of events of the original movie, in which he walks around his small town fully wolfed out and yet doesn’t draw the interest of even one government scientist. Smooth-talking best-friend Stiles (Dylan O’Brien) is still in the mix, although he’s become something of a nerd, but in that attractive way of nerds on TV -- he’s Xander to Scott’s Buffy, and just as endearing. A new addition to the narrative is love interest Allison Argent (Crystal Reed), whom we like and whose last name should perhaps tip you off to the fact that she is daughter of the werewolf hunter who inevitably just moved to town (and who is, incidentally, played by Martouf from SG-1). Yeah, it’s absurd. And Scott’s wolfy secret won’t be kept long if he and Stiles keep talking about it in stage whispers in class. But it’s still… kinda fun.

THE NINE LIVES OF CHLOE KING
New
Premiere: Tuesday, June 14, 9:00 PM
ABC Family

Based on a little-known YA series and from the network that brought us the teen superpower stylings of Kyle XY, we have this new paranormal adolescent soap opera in which the photogenic and implausibly never-been-kissed Chloe King (Skyler Samuels) is about to turn sixteen years old. There’s some hairography on a dance floor, a bunch of mostly age-inappropriate guys interested in her (of course), and some sudden -- wait, are those cat-like powers? Color us stunned. There’s mystery surrounding her birth (although it turns out she’s a Mai, a descendent of the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet… obviously), a missing father and an evil order tracking her. ’Cause… okay.

This show has multiple issues: the story is INSANE; there are two particularly awful bit players who are also Mai -- though they’re less special than out heroine, natch; we are dealing with some over-the-top, crazy-ass villains; and so far we’ve been subjected to plot holes big enough to fit a pyramid through with room to spare. Like: if she, as a cat, always lands on her feet, then why didn’t she when she fell ten stories to her first death? The series commenced with the nine-lived Miss King being pushed from a building, and one can’t help but wish that fall had killed her dead for good. Despite high spots provided by Samuels (who really is very good -- as nubile, fresh-faced and golden-tressed teens go), her feisty best-friend sidekicks Amy (Grace Phipps) and Paul (Ki Hong Lee), and Caroline in the City’s Amy Pietz as Cool Mom, the early verdict here has to be… no. Just. No.

TRUE BLOOD
Season 4
Premiere: Sunday, June 26, 10:00 PM
HBO

Last season ended with waitress telepath Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) departing Bon Temps for Fairyland with her newly discovered kinfolk. If the show holds true to form, we’ll be following the storyline of Book 4 for this new outing, which means that ancient vampire and anti-hero Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) will lose his memory and he and Sookie will live in sin for a while, against the backdrop of witches -- witches! -- trying to take control of their little corner of Louisiana. Though, also with previous seasons as a guide, manifold changes will be made from page to screen. What we can expect is more Sookie/Eric/Bill angst, more Tara, Jason, Hoyt, Lafayette and the rest being way more integral to the plot than the books ever made them, and a whole heaping helping of nakedness with a side order of fetishistic taboo -- along with a seasoning of some heavy-handed societal allegory.

Um. Yay?

TORCHWOOD
Season 4
Premiere: Friday, July 8, 10:00 PM
Starz

In a bizarre move, cable channel Starz takes over Torchwood duties from BBC America, and even co-funds the production of yet more Jack Harkness shenanigans. After the heart-wrenching happenings of the acclaimed Children of the Earth arc that was Season 3 -- way back in 2009 – we return to a world in which series hero Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) has departed Earth for parts unknown, with key members of his team dead and guilt plaguing just about everyone in some degree or other. Of course, since there is no Torchwood without Harkness (and, plus, he’s on all the posters), his swift return is assured, and with series creator and mastermind Russell T. Davies (Queer as Folk, Doctor Who) still at the helm, we can probably expect more emotional anguish, more wry humor and just a little hint of the melodrama along with our sci-fi, in a season intriguingly subtitled Miracle Day.

Welcome back, Jack!

WAREHOUSE 13
Season 3
Premiere: Monday, July 11, 9:00 PM
Syfy

Spurred on by the convincing machinations of returned-from-the-dead H. G. Wells (Jaime Murray -- yes, H. G. was a chick), super secret agent Myka (Joanne Kelly) abruptly resigned from the Warehouse in a snit at the end of Season 2, leaving her laidback partner Pete (Eddie McClintock) mourning her departure. Meanwhile, broader conspiracy theories still tease at us, archivist Artie (Saul Rubinek) is still irascible and technical wunderkind Claudia (Allison Scagliotti) is still awesome.

So, Season 3? First up, we have a new guy, an ATF agent played by the eternally fresh-faced Aaron Ashmore (hi there, Jimmy Olsen from Smallville!). Myka will return, of course, and more steampunky artifacts will be uncovered in unlikely and yet largely enjoyable ways. The special effects will doubtless remain quaintly atrocious; Joanne Kelly will continue to be simultaneously annoying and charismatic. And all in all, the Warehouse will remain as fun-filled as any show based in a clandestine governmental storage facility (plus, magic!) possibly can be.

WHITE COLLAR
Season 3
Premiere: Tuesday, June 7, 9:00 PM
USA

After two seasons of building a rapport that is among the most entertaining bromances recently seen on television, the Season 2 finale of White Collar had outlaw Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer) and lawman Peter Burke (Tim DeKay) at serious odds, with once-and-future smooth criminal mastermind Neal suspected of the theft of Nazi war spoils. The Season 3 premiere revealed it wasn’t Neal but his best anti-establishment pal Mozzie (Willie Garson) who purloined the loot; Peter and Neal have reached a rapprochement, but with their Big Score heavy on the two conmen’s minds, for how much longer will Caffrey remain an FBI “consultant”?

Much, much longer, it is to be devoutly hoped.

WILFRED
New
Premiere: Thursday, June 23, 10:00 PM
F/X

It’s not often that an Australian series gets remade for an American audience. Newsmagazine show A Current Affair, kids’ program High 5 (because apparently US children don’t understand Australian accents?), and cringe comedy Kath and Kim (starring Molly Shannon and Selma Blair). But this one has to be one of the stranger projects to get the greenlight; it’s a suicidal, delusional Elijah Wood and a man in a dog suit, whom everyone else sees as a regular dog.

This show was a subtle and subversive riot in its Australian form, and based on the first episode of the remake, this version has just as much appeal. Wood is engaging in this very singular production, and original series creator and star Jason Gann is very comfortable in his deadpan role as Wilfred. Let’s hope that F/X’s recent track record with unique, dog-related series (RIP, Terriers) doesn’t bode ill for this quirkily uncouth little gem.

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