Avatar: A Love Poem

Dearest Avatar, my newest old friend
I am so glad that I went to meet you
I’ll confess I considered staying away
The hype made me want Nine to beat you.

But despite your aggressive marketing
And ceaseless cross-promotion
With Coke, McDonald’s and even on *Bones
(Showcasing a pre-emptive devotion)

(And, actually, while we’re on the subject of Bones
Don’t you think it was kind of lame
To have your comic relief, who is also part-theirs
Rejoicing at his own claim to fame?)

But nevertheless, I went on opening day
And took up my 3-D glasses
I sat with my popcorn, my hopes and my fears
(Only new-Star Trek new-Cameron surpasses)

At the end of three hours, I sat, and I sat
Blinking my way back to Earth
The actual 3-D of reality
Seemed lackluster and of little real worth

Your characters stayed with me, for days upon days
Jake and Norm; Trudy! I adore her!
Grace and Neytiri--I even missed Quaritch
I just had to go back to Pandora.

And back I did go, again and again
And again, and then once more, and then
Well, Christmas arrived, as did New Year
Then Legion came out; but when

You were up for some Oscars, 9 of the things
My friends (the kind that just love Almodovar)
Who had scorned you as silly, scoffed at your CGI
Called and asked: “Shall we go see Avatar?”

I am sad to report this, I don’t want to hurt you
But as your friend, I owe you the truth
These Muggles, Mundanes, these high-brow elites
Thought you derivative, and dull, and uncouth

We sat in a café, in post-game debrief
And I listened, approaching desperation;
They railed at your dialogue, your characters and plot
They decried you as mere imitation!

But don’t you worry, my sweet Avatar
I didn’t let their superiority stand
I do see their point, you are very familiar
But I’m sure that was just what you planned

Yes, you’re quite Pocahontas-y
And reminiscent of animated Fern Gully
They, too, had princesses and the raping of land
But you, Avatar, have Jake Sully

Jake is a man who didn’t know his own greatness
Until the Devil demanded his due
Sam Worthington does well with the part he was given
And he’s pretty damn hot; even blue.

And, yes, you’re kind of like Dances With Wolves
And you’re At Play in the Fields of the Lord
There’s shades of The Last Samurai, and a little Hellboy
But you, Avatar, have the Thanator

This fearsome beast with its slavering jaws
Seems knowingly, casually cruel
And it could have looked out of The Land Before Time
But you made it look totally cool!

And yes, my dear movie, you are like Delgo,
An under-rated, forgotten delight
And you’re a teeny bit like the game World of Warcraft
But you, Avatar, have the night!

The night in which all the fairy-light plants switch on
Entrancing, enchanting, a dream
And the giant blue people skip amongst them with ease--
Or, y’know, have sex--in their gleam

And, yes, you’re somewhat in the Firekind vein
And I see the Poul Anderson connection
And to Orson Scott Card, whose pigs turned into trees;
But you, Avatar, have great direction!

In the hands of James Cameron, so deft and so sure
You blossomed from apparent cliché
You became more than mere sum of all your borrowed parts
You became your own miracle play

Yes, your air battle echoed second-rate Lucas
And the Na’vi fight like Legolas, true
You’re a lot like a lot of films, comics and books
But you, Avatar, are still *you!

The reason you feel so familiar, my love
Is so much comes from things we have seen
But you captured their spirits like you’ve captured my heart
Giving all those old saws a new sheen

And so, Avatar, just so you’re aware
There was no need for such a hard sell
It’s true, you’re a story told often to us
But one not often told quite so well

(Or with such amazing special effects. Just sayin’.)

  -- Rachel Hyland